Rampant Rooney and The Magnificent Seven

Good afternoon fellow pointers. Yep you are all pointers, because at this blog, the followers have to have a stupid name.

It’s been a fairly interesting weekend full of lower league champions being crowned and top flight sides falling down to the Championship (most of which were effectively confirmed in since 2010 began.) Plus we saw The Magnificent Seven at Chelsea for the third time. By that I mean seven goals were scored, not that Bronson, Brynner and McQueen are season ticket holders. It would be a sight nonetheless.

I’m rambling about a 1960’s film I haven’t seen, akin to Carlo Ancelotti claiming he wanted to see Clash of The Titans.

Come on Carlo, no one wants to see it unless you like a kraken or Liam Neeson. Speaking of Krakens

How I miss Barry Davies in the modern age.

Let’s kraken……(see what I did there)

1. Wayne Rooney is named PFA Player of the Year

I’d be foolish to argue against this decision. Footballers do know who deserves the award and without any exception, Wayne Rooney has been the best player this season. 26 goals in 30 in the league is an outstanding contribution to a team that, in my opinion needs more creativity and an other striker to complement. Sorry Berbatov you don’t cut the mustard for me and it’s time for Fergie to cut his losses. Big losses.

Rooney has somehow managed to step out from CR9’s shadow (that’s his name now, trademarked don’t you know. It also makes him sound like a intergalactic(o) robot) and become United’s sole outlet. Theoretically, United shouldn’t be in the title race, but that dogged persistance of Rooney et al means they have a chance. Rooney’s managed to take from Ronaldo in other aspects too, especially in the heading department

This all means Rooney has hit form just in time for South Africa, which means we also have that false optimism from die-hard England fans. I think we have an outside chance but if Rooney’s ankle problems flair up again, I’m worried he could end up retiring in Van Basten circumstances.

Well let’s hope not. Like the picture below, In Rooney We Trust.

Wayne's World Cup?

2. Chelsea send out battle cry to United

Following on from United’s 3-1 victory over Spurs, Chelsea had the pressure well and truly stacked upon their shoulders. But emphatically, Ancelotti’s men fired in SEVEN against feeble Stoke. This is the 3rd time this season Chelsea have bagged 7 goals at Stamford Bridge, the other two fixtures being against Villa and Sunderland. Based on that alone, they should really be champions. All three are very good sides and scoring seven against European elect team. Stoke were hampered by the horrible Sorensen injury, who has had a magnificent season for them.

So onto next week. Chelsea Liverpool will decide the title. The conspiracy theorists amongst you will surely think that Liverpool will lose in order to keep United on 18 titles. However, I think the more underlying issue is that Liverpool have had a poor season, and will likely lose anyway, off the back of the Europa League game. A game which Liverpool also don’t want to win, as they likely feel its beneath them……..tell that to Fulham.

This is anti-football of its worst kind. A team losing because of a bitter rivalry. I wish some fans would man up, and actually accept the glory days are over, well at least under Rafa.

3. Burnley and Hull go down, in a fairly unremarkable season

I’ll keep this brief. Burnley haven’t made the transition to the top flight exactly easy. Early in the season, they looked a decent side under Owen Coyle, who has wins against United and Everton under his belt. Coyle jumps the sinking ship and drives down the M61 to Bolton, where he is again, not remarkable but consistent enough to grab a point a game.

In comes, a manager out of his depth, Brian Laws. Given the uneviable task of fighting the drop, he flounders around and loses heavily a lot. Except once against Iain Dowie’s Hull (who I talked about in a previous blog) and smashed the Tigers 4-1.

That’s about it. Burnley effectively didn’t have the squad to stay up, their best player being David Nugent on loan. Hull didn’t have the team or morale to survive. A fact highlighted by George Boateng, who blames that ill-fated Eastlands half time talk, and Phil Tango Brown.

With reports of administration looming for Hull, Burnley can look back on this season as an escapade that turned sour.

Siyonara Tigers and Clarets.

4. Jozy Altidore emulates Zizou on lesser scale

Think about it. Your last game for the club and you decide to headbutt Alan Hutton. Admittedly, the circumstances surrounding Zidane’s depature were well….more tainted. But anyone would deck Matterazzi if they had the chance. I reckon Mario Balotelli might want to at the moment.

Don't compare me to Jozy. Least I can score

Jozy Altidore has been one of Hull’s better players and I think someone should take a punt on him next year. Anyone fancy a young volatile striker not capable of scoring. Jozy Altidore available to your club, on loan soon!

5. Arsenal vs Man City. Snorefest

I went to the pub after having a kickabout. I wish I hadn’t bothered. It took City until the 86th minute to have a shot and the highlight of the game was seeing the first Faroe Islander to play in the league. I’m getting rather bored of hype, this time being the whole Adebayor returning scenario. It was funny to see Vieira being cheered then ‘Saint’ Emmanuel being booed. Contrast.

GUNNAR NIELSEN. He won’t appear on this blog again, or for City again.

Here’s your 15 minutes of fame.

Arsenal were equally poor and should have probably won. But didn’t underlining their need for a goalscorer in a team full of midfield brilliance. Wenger will surely sign Chamakh in the summer and maybe poach some unknown who enters the footballing conscience in Africa.

He’ll also sign Joe Hart if he had any sense. Englands No.1 keeper surely now.

6. ANNUAL AWARD FOR WORST KIT YET TO BE UNVEILED AND ALSO POSSIBLY NOT REAL

Honourable Mentions

Manchester United Away  (doubt this is real but still terrible)

AZ Alkmaar Away


WINNER: Seattle Sounders ‘Nu-Rave Norwich’ Third Kit (I pray this doesn’t have to be used)

And until next week, I leave you with a goal the dubious goals panel will have a nightmare over.



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